The temptation was indescribable. For years we heard about the problems associated with underage drinking. We knew we would probably get in trouble. But in order to be accepted at my high school, you had to be a drinker, period. For some of us it was that we pretended to drink, holding the same beer for hours, feeling awkward but accepted with the hope others would think we were cool. That was what I did. That way I did not smell of booze when I got home to my parents. My parents and the fear of getting in trouble kept me from actually drinking. Not that pretending was okay either because it was not. With not drinking, I could then drive him home. My brother. My older brother.
My brother is an alcoholic. He began the same way as everyone else. Drinking at a house party where the parents were out of town. He was the life of the party. He was the guy who was everyone’s friend and always had a funny story to tell. We were new to town and wanted desperately to meet people and make new friends. With drinking and being the life of the party, he got noticed by girls and pats on the back from guys. That kind of attention was intoxicating in its own right. But after a few months I realized that he drank more than most. I also realized that he could not control himself. One led to five, which led to twelve , which led to my friends and me carrying him to my car. Social pressures were the worst. After so many “just say ‘no’” assemblies as a kid, we forgot that it was just that easy. We thought the world would end and we would loose our cool factor if we did not go to the parties, and where I lived to go meant to drink (or to appear to drink).
I finally could no longer cover for him. It became obvious that he needed to say no to the drinking, it was not cool anymore. In fact, it was scary. He needed to stop. His friends needed to help him and tell him to stop. He needed to know he would still be cool and accepted with friends even if he did not drink. He needed help. He really needed help. That was 8 years ago. Now I’m getting ready to graduate college and enter the real world. Over the years I learned that you do not have to have a beer in your hand to be cool. Drinking or not drinking should not be the determinant for gaining and/or keeping friends. Now I know that. Now I know we never had to drink or hold a beer or pretend to be drunk to be cool. Now I know we and he should have just said no. Now I wish we had. I wish every day that we had the self esteem and the backbone to just say no to them. I would give everything and anything to go back and change the choice made to drink. While I embark on my senior year in college, my older brother embarks upon his 5th time to rehab. He has lost his cool factor, and he has lost his friends who are mostly now married with families. He has caused so much pain and sadness to my parents and to me due to his drinking problem. He has lost control. Really though, he lost control a long time ago. And it all started with trying to be cool while drinking at a house party where everyone was underage. Underage drinking is not cool, it can lead to situations like my brothers. If I could go back, I would have spoken up to him and told him it’s not okay. Underage drinking is not something that others really admire. It was never as cool as we thought. If I could go back, I would have acted sooner. I would have spoken up. You can. You can act now. You can say no. Being cool is being confident in yourself and your choices. Be confident and proud to say no to underage drinking. It should never be the determinant for being cool. Make your own cool. I wish every day that we had.
--Christine, Mesa