Student In Coma

22 years ago when I returned to teaching after Detox-Rehab, I was determined to use my reinstated sober honesty and AA knowledge to guide high schoolers, when necessary, in the sneaky pitfalls of alcoholism.

In those early 12 step days, I wasn’t qualified to sponsor or counsel, but hoped I could steer them down appropriate avenues of awareness and professional help.

I never probed, but they all knew I was available if they had concerns about drinking problems with friends, family or themselves.

One of my students – I’ll call him Tim – had a “look” I remembered from my dark years of drunkenness. He was frequently disheveled, in need of a bath and those unhappy, red watery eyes alerted me. He needed help!

He isolated himself from the class, was absent or tardy frequently and avoided any private communication with me. There were also clues: His breath and perspiration consistently had that recognizable beer odor.

To openly approach him was ethically dangerous, but when I learned he was a legacy, I had an opening. His Mother had been an outstanding student in my early teaching days. I contacted her. Unfortunately, my greatest fear was realized in the conversation. She was suspicious, defensive and inebriated. Her denial that her son had a drinking problem was, I guessed, a mask to hide her addiction, but she consented to my request to confront Tim – which I did.

His willingness to confide in me was at first unanticipated and rewarding. He openly stated he drank daily and seemed relieved to admit he had concerns. His single Mother encouraged him to share her imbibing habits before-after School and even, on occasion, had vodka screw-drivers waiting for him at lunchtime. She always bought the booze and obviously was financially secure. She was a drunken stay-at-home Mom sharing liquor with her troubled son.

I offered to take Tim to an AA Meeting. He refused and was evasive and fearful of this. I also enlightened him about Al-Anon and his response was a typical one: “I can stop drinking anytime I want.”

Our initial and only discussion ended there. It proved to be the last time we talked. That night, he was drunk, speeding in his pickup on a somewhat deserted road when a Policeman spotted him. Tim saw the flashing light behind him and veered off onto a field. His truck rolled three times. He was not wearing a seat belt.

This condemned young man was in a coma for 6 months and today minimal progress has occurred. He has to be strapped in his wheelchair which he’s unable to maneuver and Doctors predict he’ll never speak again. He’s incontinent and destined to remain in nursing homes forever. His Mother was never able to care for him and even if she did quit drinking (which I doubt), she has remained emotionally unstable and justifiably blames herself for Tim’s condition. She will continue to do so the rest of their tormented tragic lives.

My journeys with underage drinkers have been frustratingly troublesome. I’ve experienced more failures than successes. I visit Tim occasionally. No positive changes after two decades. I firmly believe he’s trapped inside that emaciated body but will never escape. Teenagers all too frequently boast “I’m gonna drink tonight and get drunk!” This is not a sane social statement. It’s addiction talk! They must be educated to the fact Alcoholism is cunning, baffling and can lead to an unpleasant, lingering early death!

As a teacher, I think “assignments” and always say to any potential alcoholic: It’s like any journey – you have to take the first step. Admit you’re powerless over alcohol and your life has become unmanageable because of it!”